The Slinks of the Astral Realms

By and large, the Slinks are not attractive beings, and they know it. However, this doesn't stop them from being some of the funniest beings we've ever come in contact with. Slinks stand about five feet tall (on average), but that's not including their massive tails. Their limbs are spindly and slender in comparison to the rest of them, and they always stand pigeon-toed. Most have spiraling horns, but the design of the horns vary from Slink to Slink. They have massive bulging eyes and wide mouths. Their noses are so small they're nearly nonexistent, more like nostril slits than anything else. All Slinks have tails that are twice their body size at least. Most of a Slink's vital organs are located in their tails. Potentially you could remove a Slink's body from its tail and the tail would live on, it just wouldn't have any means of locomotion or communication.


Slinks come in a few different colors. Most of them are a hideous mustard yellow color, but there's also some greens, greys, and browns among them. The most rare Slink is an albino one, purely white. The Slinks consider albinos to be the most beautiful of their kind, so they immediately elevate the status of any albino to a higher rank. Slinks show status by wearing belts on their tails. They love human clothing and accessories in general, but belts are special to them. The more belts a Slink has on their tail, the higher their rank is. They have their own odd idea of beauty, and elevate those who fit their standards into higher ranks. The current ruling Slink, known as Prince, is an albino.


Personality wise, Slinks are shameless. They literally cannot feel the emotion of shame. They know they're hideous, and have accepted this fact and turned it to their advantage. Because of this their everyday comments on the lives of humans are completely blunt, and often hilarious. They say things as they see them, and aren't often deceptive by nature. If you can get past the very slug-like appearance, Slinks actually make rather good friends. Their beliefs are rather simplistic. They believe that the moment they die, they're reborn as a new (and hopefully prettier) Slink.

  • Rotten or bruised fruit

  • Scraps of fabric or old clothes

  • Fried foods, such as corn dogs, fries, and fried chicken

  • Sweets and candies

  • Belts and belt buckles (they'll love you forever if you offer them one)

  • Makeup (of any kind)

  • Anything that you would consider beautiful or pretty, a Slink probably will too

Offering Ideas

The Slinks